Stand up.

Those are loaded words. Stand up off your seat, take a microphone and start talking about fucked up shit in front of a room full of strangers.

I like to laugh, who doesn't? I don't laugh much. I like to go to stand-up comedy shows, because, on the odd occasion, they make me laugh. I watch a lot of stupid sit-coms for the same reason. Lately, they're all about disenfranchised women-- New Girl? Two broke girls? Humourous, but not really funny. I've had to deal with that shit for 20 years. It's just a sad reminder of life. Work all your life, date, get married, procreate and die. Been there, done that, except I haven't died yet, and I haven't worked all my life.

When I used to go to these stand up shows, I'd get drunk (big surprise) and heckle. I'd have conversations with the comedians on stage. They'd get off stage and tell me I should go up so they could heckle me. Now, I'm on stage, in front of all these 'peers' and all I hear is... crickets...

There were a few giggles...

After a few times of getting on stage-- Who's in the audience makes a huge difference. My musician friends tell me this all the time. I never understood. Tonight was mostly other comedians. Good ones. Well seasoned. As I took to the stage, I was being judged. I didn't feel good coming off stage, but those few giggles, from this stage, made it worthwhile. I'll try again tomorrow in some random bar in Itaewon.