August 1st, 2012 Day 12

I was going to write “look at day 11” since I didn’t see there was going to be much of a difference between yesterday and today. I still have nothing to read, I’m still wearing the same clothes and still have not had a shower or combed my hair since I arrived 12 days ago— and every day, under these conditions, I’m amazed Asians consider white foreigners barbaric and uncivilized.

So what’s different about today? I’m so bored. I've had to get the creative juices flowing to amuse myself and after being in a dry spell for so long, it’s welcoming. I thought of an original idea for new painting and after 20 years of thinking of one idea, I think finally figured out how to paint it. I also thought of a cool idea for a movie, maybe I can get JO to write the screenplay with me. Insomnia has its uses. So, 2 paintings and a movie synopsis in less than 24 hours-- not bad.  A very good day so far indeed.

Spoke too soon. Just got in trouble for wearing shorts instead of pants, during roll call. My only pair of pants are dirty, so I took them off to wash them and promptly got in trouble for it. Fucked if you do, fucked if you don’t. If I didn't know any better, I’d think they were probably looking for things to criticize. If they think that is going to wear me down and break my spirit, they are sadly mistaken. That just makes me more angry and defiant. And it put me in a foul mood the rest of the day, so I ignored everybody, told them to all bugger off, leave me alone and drew pictures all day. Being such a loner anyway, prison isn't much different than staying in my home, except for the major problem of not being able to leave at will, of course.